Greetings all. I’m sure many of my faithful readers here have noticed that this Wordslinger hasn’t slung many words of late. There is a reason for that: during the last week of October of last year, after enduring the worst abdominal cramps I’ve ever had – and spending about 30 hours mistakenly convinced that I had food poisoning – I finally called 911. I was taken by ambulance to the hospital where I was diagnosed with a ruptured colon. Diverticulosis and diverticulitis are the official names, but what it basically boiled down to was burst pockets on my large intestine, that were spilling foulness into my body.
After having major abdominal surgery, I spent two weeks (two weeks!) in the hospital, and was then sent home with an open wound that needed to be cleaned and dressed twice daily. To say this was traumatic is a gross understatement. I do not want to go into gory detail, save to say that I have never seen anything like the horror show that was my abdomen. I was told this incision (incision? Ha! It looked like the Grand Freaking Canyon to me!), would heal in 4 – 6 weeks. Three months was more like it. While that wound has closed up and is much smaller than it was, I’ve still got a pretty damn big scar on my stomach, that is like a (sometimes painful) seam on the moderate paunch I’ve got down there.
For a good little while, I could barely get around, and could not eat very much at all. During those two weeks in the hospital, I dropped 20 pounds – about half of which I have put back on. I also could not even sit at my desk, much less write. Well, now that I am mobile again, and getting back into the swing of things, I am here to simply fill you in on my progress.
I was just starting to get serious about promotion on the book last year when this happened. I had done a couple of big shows and was scheduled to do a couple more when I was struck down. By springtime I intend to be back on the promotion trail. By that time it is also my intention to have the Kindle version of BROODING for sale online. I know I’ve been promising that for awhile, and I want to thank those of you who have been waiting patiently for it.
Other than that, I have been questioning a lot of things recently. This event was what many call “a life changer.” And yet … I haven’t really changed that many of my old habits. In fact, this event was SO traumatic and overwhelming, that at times, I have relied even more so on some of those old … crutches. I wasn’t ready for it. Is anyone ever ready for something like this? I was told by the doctors after arriving at the hospital that if I had waited much longer to call 911, I might not have made it at all. What does one DO with information like that? By all means, I SHOULD be embracing life even more, and thanking God for sparing me, and yet … instead of doing that … I think I’ve been PISSED!
At what? you ask. That’s a good question. One for which I don’t even have an answer. While this big scar on my stomach is healing, it sometimes angers me. Then I remember that if I DIDN’T have that scar, I would be DEAD. This thought does nothing to ease my confusion about the whole matter. Sometimes I wish that my number HAD been up. After all …
Life is pain – when you die, the pain is over.
How’s that for a mantra? How’s that for a warm and fuzzy thought? While even I could argue both sides of that statement – with both worldly and biblical wisdom – I can say that for the majority of my life, the first part of that statement has been true. Life IS pain. Writing that novel of mine has been my attempt to make sense of that pain. Love and hate, trust and fear, sin and redemption, heartache and self-medication … these are themes upon which I am continually meditating, and which make surprisingly good fodder for my fiction. Good thing I’ve got Book II to work on, for I’ve surely got a helluva lot more where that came from.
I think I’m rambling here.
Anyway, in fine, I am doing much better, I will be hitting the promotion trail on the book again soon, and will hopefully see some of you while doing so.
Take care, have fun, and … don’t take any shit from anybody!